It All Happens In The Dark

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This One Has Bite

Piranha 3D (2010)

Piranha 3D is damn fun and majorly supplies the gore. And boobies… if you care about that. There are some really hilarious scenes and some scenes that generated enough tension that I was gesturing and shouting, “No, don’t do that! Get out of there! What are you thinking?!” I always enjoy that, trying to communicate with the screen because not only does it make me look like an idiot, it also means in some way I care about the fate of the characters. Jerry O’Connell plays a massive douche bag, and he had me remembering his turn as the oh-so-sensitive-and-understanding Derek in Scream 2 and admiring the total three-sixty. And I love seeing Elisabeth Shue in any genre offering, and her starring role here almost makes up for her barely there presence in Hide and Seek. I’d love to see her do more horror. If there is a sequel she better be in it. Christopher Lloyd plays the crazy card here and does it better than anyone. Piranha 3D will not win best picture at the Oscars, no matter how many cute ads the Weinsteins pay for, but it is stylish, amusing and made for gore-loving horror fans. While I haven’t seen the original, which is apparently considered a B-movie classic, this is certainly a summer fright flick you can sink your teeth into. And the ending totally made me go “No way, Oh My God!” (Yeah, I’m a dork, but I usually know what to except from horror movies and this totally nailed me.) Another reason to love this film? Slime ball Joe Francis attempting to sue the Weinstein company because he feels that the Jerry O’Connell character is based upon him and disparagingly portrayed. Oh, Joe, really? The director of Piranha 3D, Alexandre Aja, has responded that he did not base the character on anyone specifically and that he considers the O’Connell character a “human piranha.” Zing! B

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